Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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