Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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