I'm jealous of your bromance
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
