dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
