You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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