You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
