It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
