Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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