You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
