I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize