How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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