Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
