If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
