I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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