where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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