And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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