bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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