Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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