I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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