I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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