we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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