Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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