i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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