Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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