Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize