One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
