Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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