and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
