No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
