i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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