He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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