exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
