This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
