Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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