butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
