I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
