i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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