yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
