sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize