SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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