i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
