He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
