We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
