The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
