I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
foreskin is a definite game changer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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