So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
