I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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