you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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