Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
