What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
