we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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