apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
