Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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