it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
